


Sharing a joy we thought would last

by changingsmile



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Enis (A3!), Harugaoka Quartet (A3!), M/M, Mentions of Citron/Furuichi Sakyou, Tojo (A3!)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 09:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25967458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changingsmile/pseuds/changingsmile
Summary: “But what was the point of all my successes if the person most important to me didn’t share those moments with me?"*Set 10yrs later within the Harugaoka Quartet Universe*Rating will increase in 2nd chpt
Relationships: Citron/Utsuki Chikage, Enis/Tojo (A3!)
Kudos: 9





	Sharing a joy we thought would last

**Author's Note:**

> *Could be considered a sequel to [Not saying I'm a pro, But you'll come back for me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25211512)  
> *Enis - Citron  
> *Tojo - Chikage

Sweat made Enis's top cling uncomfortably to his body and the sound of cicadas was maddening. This muggy, humid heat was one thing he hadn't missed about summers in Japan. He was sure to passerbys he looked miserable and he was. How physically uncomfortable he was made him irritated, sure, but mostly it was memories of- 

_ "We should break up."  _

_ Was the sun or the burning in his chest worse?  _

_ "Why?"  _

_ The other man looked away, his sigh getting drowned out by the cicadas. Enis hated it when the other would refuse to meet his eyes.  _

_ "Don't make this harder than it needs to be, Emperor."  _

_ The petname made his ears ring.  _

_ - _

He slipped through the doors of a small coffeeshop. It wasn't much to look at. The decor was charming in a quaint sort of way but he wouldn't have walked in if it weren't for needing a reprieve from the heat. Enis was used to more high end establishments. 

_ "It's okay to come down from your throne, Emperor."  _

_ He  _ enjoyed these sorts of places. Didn't he? Always laughing when Enis would turn up his nose at them much like he was doing now. Irritating. Clicking his tongue he ordered a smoothie. 

_ "All that huffing about having refined taste and you order a smoothie? You really are a kid."  _

He changed to a coffee. 

-

The heat from the coffee seared his hands. Why was he so hung up on that man that he bought a hot coffee in the middle of summer. Huffing he poured copious amounts of creamer and sugar to offset the bitter taste and grabbed a coffee sleeve to offset the burning. Enis knew that he would’ve gotten teased for how much he added to his coffee, but thankfully he was alone. He’s been alone for at least a decade now. Even when dating other people he.. Well he didn’t want to think about that. Or think about how similar his string of exes were in either appearance or personality. It was a coincidence. 

Walking further into the shop he attempted to find seating that was tucked away from the general crowd. Yes, no one would talk to him if he was in the more populated area, but even the thought of being surrounded by others was almost as stuffy and suffocating as it was outside. He spotted seating that fit his criteria and started walking a bit faster so he could finally rest. He thought he could rest until he saw a spot of green in the corner of his eye that was all too familiar.  _ It couldn’t be.  _ As if he was the lead in a horror movie about to encounter that which was relentlessly hunting him, Enis begrudgingly turned his head.  _ Oh God.  _

Tojo was stony faced. He didn’t even move his head. His eyes flicked up to take in Enis’s shocked expression then lazily went back down to his computer screen. How he managed to be wholly disinterested in Enis’s existence had his cheeks burning. And his heart racing. With anger and only anger because there was nothing else he felt towards the older man who had dumped him so easily. Their past aside, how could he act so calm around a world renowned violinist! Infuriating. That alone should warrant a greeting, but no matter. If he didn’t want to say anything then that was fine. Enis stalked to his seat, downed some of his coffee, and winced from burning his tongue. He swore he saw Tojo’s face break into a small smile. 

He got about halfway through his drink before he was unable to hold his tongue for any longer. Calmly, because he is a 20 something year old man who can control his emotions, he got up and took the seat that was in front of his former instructor. 

“How long were you planning on ignoring me.” 

Lip twitching into a smirk Tojo finally gave Enis his attention. 

“I knew if I did you would come over here yourself eventually.” 

Tojo was always like this. Acting like he knew everything about Enis and how he would react. Acting like he knew what was best when if he truly had known he wouldn’t have- Enis’s lips pressed into a thin line. Angrily, Enis admitted internally that Tojo was still attractive. On occasion when he imagined what he’d look like his mind conjured up a haggard form. Hoping that ageing would treat Tojo unkindly. No, instead the lines by his eyes and dashes of silver throughout his hair added to his charm. And he still dressed in the same cleancut way the only difference being him opting for more muted colors. Along with his hair his clothes faded in vibrancy, but his presence still demanded respect and attention. Enis wondered how his younger self would’ve fared around this more mature version of Tojo. His current self was finding it difficult to fight back thoughts about his attractiveness. Tojo must have plenty of romantic interests after tossing him aside. That in mind Enis unsubtly checked his left hand. 

“No ring?” 

“If you’re asking me if I’m married the answer is no.”

Tojo’s expression now was familiar. He always made it right before making a jab at Enis. 

“You should be focused on your own relationship with that famous pianist. The classical world was abuzz when you two went public. Always had a penchant for older men hm?” 

“That’s none of your business.” 

Enis forced his hands to not pick at his coffee cup. 

“You two made it the world’s business.”

“We only did that because he-!” Enis didn’t want to explain that his hangups over Tojo made his partner push him to make themselves more official. He thought that if the world knew maybe Enis would be able to focus. If only it was all that easy. He didn’t resent him for it. Mostly he was sad that he had been hurting someone he genuinely cared for over something a decade past. “...It doesn’t matter. We’re on a break anyways.” 

Tojo looked genuinely surprised. 

“Did you..?

“No, he was the one who suggested it.” Enis had been told to go off and figure out what he truly wanted. That’s how he found himself in Japan during his lull in performances and appearances. He went to Japan specifically to get over Tojo, but he never anticipated seeing him in person. “I’m easy to cast aside, I suppose.” 

“Stop being melodramatic.” The other man clicked around on his laptop before shutting it. “That explains why I didn’t hear anything about you coming back to Japan.”

Wait a minute.

“You check up on me?” 

“I follow the careers of many prolific musicians. Don’t look at me like that.” 

If Enis focused he could see pink faintly dusting Tojo’s cheeks. He continued to stare down Tojo refusing to only take that as an answer. 

“You always were persistent at the worst of times.”

“As were you.”

“Fair enough.” His eyes focused on some far off space behind Enis. “I have followed your career since we, well you know.” 

“Since you broke up with me.” 

Tojo looked as if he wanted to argue in some way but sucked his teeth instead.

“Yeah, that.” 

“Why?”

Cringing, Enis berated himself for how vulnerable he sounded in that moment. Was he asking why had they separated or why Tojo felt inclined to watch his rise to fame? More than likely it was both. 

“Hmm.” Tojo slid his laptop into his bag, slung the strap across his body, then stood. “Want to come home with me?”

Despite his better judgement Enis agreed. 

-

“Ah, your place hasn’t changed.” Secretly Enis had been hoping he had moved elsewhere. He wrinkled his nose. “And the decor is almost exactly the same.” He was unsure if he could stomach sitting on the same uncomfortable leather couch where he had too many sexual experiences with the man walking further ahead of him. Not only that but he recalled when Tojo had carried his half asleep body from the couch to his bed many a night. Tired out from competitions, practice, and concerts, Enis would often knock out much earlier than he’d wanted to. He would wake up frustrated that he spent their alone time sleeping. Tojo would ruffle his hair in response and say he didn’t mind. That there would always be other days. Until there wasn’t.

“To someone who frequently travels it would seem odd to stay in one place. Wouldn’t it?”

_ I never would have left if you hadn’t let me.  _

“Take a seat.” 

Enis stopped loitering at the door and finally went further into the apartment. 

-

When he took the spot next to Tojo, Enis made sure to keep space between them. Despite his best efforts their knees still knocked against each other. He really should’ve gotten a bigger couch. 

“So why am I at your place right now?”

“I thought,” Tojo crossed his arms. “That I should finally be honest with you. Now that I have the chance.” 

Enis’s brow rose, clearly interested in whatever Tojo had to say. A question he’d been agonizing over for a decade answered in such an anticlimactic manner. Within the first few days of his trip too, but Tojo was never one for dramatics. 

“I cared about you a lot. Don’t think that I was lying or that my feelings were fake, but that’s why I had to end our relationship. I still believe that I dragged it on for too long especially now seeing how it impacted you. I was so sure you’d have forgotten about me by now and I never thought we’d meet again.”

“You still haven’t answered.” 

His chest expanded, he paused, and deflated as he let out the deep breath he was holding. 

“Before we dated I was your violin instructor. I didn’t want your potential to be squandered.” His arms uncrossed as he turned his body to face Enis. Enis’s breath hitched when he felt a hand on his knee. That combined with Tojo’s smile which was much too soft for a man that was talking to his ex, had bile rising in Enis’s throat. He hated this. Wanted to shove Tojo away lest he pull the other closer. But he didn’t because this is what he had craved for much too long. “Watching you improve was inspiring and I always felt that way even if I was harsh. People called you a prodigy, but talent can only get you so far without dedication and practice. You were -are- driven and passionate. You don’t accept anything less than the best and that’s what you deserve. Which is why I didn’t want you to feel burdened by me.” 

“Burdened?” Enis blurted out much too loud.

“I knew you were rejecting offers to go abroad. I believed it was because we were involved.”

“That..! I..” He had been so sure Tojo had no idea. 

“Sure you were successful in Japan, but I always knew that you could go further. Seeing how much you have progressed in your career made me not regret my decision. It hurt, but it was for the best.”

“But you never asked me how I felt! Or if I even wanted those things!”

“I knew you’d argue if I told you the real reason. It was easier if you believed I had simply lost interest.” 

“But what was the point of all my successes if the person most important to me didn’t share those moments with me? I was only something to brag about to my parents and the majority of my partners.” Well besides his current partner. He was...different, but Enis was unsure of where they stood currently. “...You were the only one who genuinely cared, and losing you hurt me more than I’d like to admit.” 

Enis didn’t realize he had started to cry till Tojo pulled him into his arms because that made him sob harder. He still used the same cologne, its scent mixed with his sweat comforting in its familiarity. Enis was still angry and would definitely berate Tojo more once he was properly composed, but right now he was simply relieved. Tojo didn’t hate him. He didn’t tire of him. He no longer had to believe those things to be true. 

Tojo cupped Enis’s cheek to lift his head, his mouth open to say something else. Whatever it was Enis never heard, kissing Tojo before he had the chance to speak. Enis’s actions mirroring their very first kiss together. It tasted of salt and coffee and Enis lamented how messy his face was. Tojo didn’t mind, his body receptive to what Enis was doing. Soon enough Enis had the other pinned to the shoulder rest, his arms caging him in on either side. 

“We’ve never done it like this before. Finally living up to your emperor title in this regard?” His words were teasing, but Tojo was clearly taken aback by the role reversal. 

“Let me show you what you’ve missed.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Forget Me Nots by Patrice Rushen


End file.
